no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize