I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
