nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize