he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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