There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize