he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize