if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
