What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i just made my gag reflex go away.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
