every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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