What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I can text with my tongue
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
