I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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