i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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