just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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