Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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