i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
nutella sex= disaster
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
