I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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