If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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