so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You can't just leave with hair like that
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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