I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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