Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
