Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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