my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
She announced her abortion via fbk
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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