you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize