Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
