i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
