I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
