And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
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