I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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