So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
