My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
