dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
There r osticjed everywhere
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Sext me about skeletons
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
