In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
