we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
My penis needs a shock collar
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
