I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
