So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
