In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
