you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
