btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
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