I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
