he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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