weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
