I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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