You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
