you guys were way drunker than both of me
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
