If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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