Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Randomize
