: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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