miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
