So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
i think i just lost a toe
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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