dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
