Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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