For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
