i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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