Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
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