Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
it glows. i had to have it.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
