If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
