if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
