How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
