You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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