watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
