does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Randomize
