See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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