I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
